Find Your Triple C with ESP: The Key to Staying Motivated as a Busy Parent

March always seems to bring a renewed sense of ambition. Maybe it’s the longer days, the promise of spring, or just the collective realization that New Year's resolutions have been gathering dust for two months. Whatever the reason, people suddenly feel the urge to set goals, train harder, or just become better in some way.

And then… life happens.

Motivation, like a caffeine rush, is fleeting. One minute, you're ready to conquer the world, and the next, you’re drowning in laundry, emails, and half-eaten toddler snacks. So, how do some people push through and keep making progress while others stall out?

The answer, I believe, comes down to one small but mighty word: AND.

The Power of "AND"

People who stay the course don’t have fewer obstacles. Their lives aren’t magically free of chaos. They succeed because they combine motivation AND discipline.

Motivation sparks the desire to improve. Discipline carries them through when that spark inevitably fades. And if life keeps throwing obstacles in their path, discipline keeps them moving forward—slowly, maybe, but forward nonetheless.

“It does not matter how slow you go, as long as you don’t stop.” — Confucius

But discipline alone can feel like drudgery. This is where motivation comes back into play. Discipline AND well-structured motivation build resilience. And resilience produces results.

So, how do you structure motivation in a way that sticks?

The Triple C: Connection, Competence, and Control

According to Self-Determination Theory, three key components drive intrinsic motivation:

• Relatedness (a sense of CONNECTION)

• COMPETENCE (a belief in your own ability)

• Autonomy (a sense of CONTROL over your actions)

To simplify, I call these the Triple C: Connection, Competence, and Control.

1. Connection: Your Built-in Support System

This is the easiest one to nurture. Surround yourself with people (or pets!) who energize you. Extroverts? Go socialize. Introverts? Enjoy the comfort of close friends or a peaceful moment with your dog. Feeling supported makes everything easier.

2. Competence: The Silent Confidence Killer

This one is tricky. Social media constantly reminds us that someone out there is fitter, wealthier, more successful, or more patient with their kids than we are. And sure, that’s probably true. But who cares? Seriously. Who. Freaking. Cares.

Your competence isn’t about them—it’s about you proving to yourself that you are capable.

3. Control: The Myth and the Mindset Shift

We all crave control, but daily life—especially as parents—often feels like an endless series of curveballs. Trying to sprint and marathon through life at the same time? That’s a recipe for burnout. (By the way, the 800m and 1600m races—the closest things to a sprint-marathon combo—are also the most hated in track. Just saying.

Instead of trying to control everything, let’s focus on controlling what actually matters.

ESP: A Simple Strategy to Build Motivation Every Day

Here’s where we shift gears. Instead of focusing on what went wrong each day, let’s use ESP (Effort, Success, Progress) to reframe your mindset and build confidence.

E - Effort: Where did you push yourself today?

Even a little bit counts. Maybe you squeezed in a workout before the kids woke up, or you found the energy to cook instead of ordering takeout. Celebrate the effort.

Example: A client of mine wanted to work out on weekends but always struggled to find time. One night, she simply asked her family if she could have 30 minutes to exercise in the basement. They said, "Of course, Mom!" That small shift became a habit, and now weekend workouts are part of her routine—AND her family has become more active too.

S - Success: What small win can you acknowledge?

Bad day at work? Don’t let that define your whole day. Look elsewhere: Did you eat a homemade meal instead of skipping lunch? Success. Did you chat with a coworker instead of mindlessly scrolling Instagram? Success.

P - Progress: Where did you move forward today?

Progress is your definition. Maybe you finally sent that email without overanalyzing it. Maybe you took a step toward a promotion by handling a tricky situation at work. Recognizing progress makes it easier to keep going.

The Game-Changer: Gamify Your Day

Once you start tracking ESP, something powerful happens. You naturally begin to look for ways to rack up effort points, spot successes in tough days, and make progress toward your future.

This isn’t about impressing anyone else. It’s about YOU. And when you build more ESP, you gain more competence, which gives you more control, which leads to a better connection with the people who matter most.

See what I did there? Full circle.

So, take back your motivation. Find your Triple C with ESP, and make this March the month you finally break through.